I remember that Tuesday like it was etched into the very bones of our house. It smelled like microwaved lasagna and the lavender hand lotion my dad sometimes used when he thought no one was watching. I was six, maybe seven. The kind of age where you notice more than you understand.
My dad was humming some old tune, something with no words but a rhythm that filled up the quiet. He always hummed when he didn’t want to talk. Or maybe when he didn’t know how.
I came into the kitchen holding a chipped bottle of pink nail polish. I don’t know what made me think of it that day, but I missed her—Mom. Missed her in that bone-deep way you can’t quite name when you’re small, but it follows you around like a shadow.
Daddy,” I asked, “can you do my toes like Mommy used to?”
He was rinsing out a mug. He didn’t flinch. Didn’t say no. Just gave a small nod, wiped his hands on a dish towel, and cleared a space on the kitchen counter.
“Hop up,” he said, patting the edge.
He lifted me gently like I was made of spun sugar, then crouched in front of me, holding my tiny foot in one of his big, calloused hands. His fingers were stained from motor oil and grout, and he smelled like clean sweat and peppermint gum.
The world slowed down.
He painted one toe, then another, tongue sticking slightly out in concentration. It was such a careful act for a man who’d never handled anything delicately in his life. I watched him, my breath caught somewhere between admiration and heartbreak.
Then I asked it.
“Do you think Mommy would be proud of us right now?”
He froze. The polish brush hung in the air, trembling just a little. His eyes flicked up to mine, and that’s when I saw it—the glisten, just barely there.
She’d love this,” he whispered after a beat. “She’d say I missed a spot.”
We both let out this sort-of laugh. Small. Fragile. Like if we laughed too hard, it would snap the whole moment in half.
Then, softer than the silence that followed, he added, “I promised her I’d keep up the good work.”
And that’s when the front door creaked open.
I remember my head snapping around, my heart launching into my throat. We weren’t expecting anyone. Dad didn’t move. His hand still cradled my foot. The brush dipped into the bottle of polish with a soft click.
Then I saw her.
My mom. Standing in the doorway. Same chestnut hair pulled into a bun like always, though now streaked with more gray than I remembered. A canvas bag slung over her shoulder. She looked thinner. Older. But her eyes—those were the same. Wide and uncertain and searching.
Dad stood slowly. His entire body tensed like a rope pulled too tight. The air felt charged, like just before a thunderstorm.
“Hi,” she said. Barely a whisper.
I stared, blinking fast. She’d been gone a year. One whole year of birthdays, bruised knees, school plays, nightmares, and Sunday breakfasts without her. A year ago she left a note on the table. Said she needed to find herself. Said motherhood didn’t feel like her. That she had an offer in Lisbon and she was going to take it.
“I know I don’t deserve to be here,” she said, stepping further in, “but I had to come back. I had to see you. Both of you.”
Dad didn’t say a word. Just kept looking at her like she might vanish if he blinked.